By Jeff Logue Ph. D.
Recently, I had an opportunity to invest in a particular type of real estate in order to earn passive income. I was really excited about the prospect of making significant money that could potentially pad my pocket. So, my contact told me the best way to get started was attend an investor conference and start networking. Now, you have to understand – I hate networking. Engaging in small talk with a stranger in hopes of exchanging business cards feels like fingernails scraping across a chalkboard. Can you relate?
So there I was – in all my introversion – wedged in my seat with a room full of strangers. I had a choice to make. I could be shy and introverted or I could engage these people in pursuit of my dreams. After a few minutes of conversation in my head I decided that these people were doing something I wanted to learn about. I decided to step out and force myself to change. I made a series of choices that determined my trajectory for the rest of the day. It worked! I am glad to tell you that day ended on a high note and has opened up several doors that will lead exactly where I had hoped.
Let’s take a look at a few things you can do to change the shy/introverted self you see in the mirror.
Choose what will happen. Stop focusing on the negative and choose to focus on your positive traits, the positive people in the room, and the exciting aspects of the event. Making these positive choices determines your focus and, consequently, your mood. Choose to reach your goal for the day and make it happen. Decide to meet five new friends and don’t leave the party or event until you do. What happens for the next few hours is entirely up to you.
Choose to be curious. Shy people tend to focus on themselves, their flaws, and avoid the unusual. Stop focusing on yourself! Instead, choose to unleash your inner curiosity. Children always ask questions and are drawn to the unusual, but as adults we somehow outgrow the natural curiosity of our youth. Walt Disney once said, “We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths”. Choosing to be curious about others leads us to new relationships, business opportunities, and experiences that a shy person won’t benefit from.
Choose your role. Choose who you will be today and make no apologies for it tomorrow. There is something powerful and liberating about being one’s self, however, if you want to overcome introversion it is time for a new person to emerge! I’m an introvert and feel more comfortable alone with my thoughts, but that day of networking offered me an opportunity to be, if only for a few hours, an extrovert. I chose to be who I wanted to be – not the person I always have been OR the person others have labeled me to be. Choose your role and possess your destiny. Over time, as you practice being an extrovert, it will become easier.
Choose who you listen to. There are plenty of critics in the world who hate your success and will tear you down when you attempt anything new. You have to decide who you let into that little room between your ears. Choose wisely those who are whispering to you. Remember that critics only criticize what they lack the talent to duplicate. Joyce Meyer once said, “Watch out for the joy-stealers: gossip, criticism, complaining, faultfinding, and a negative, judgmental attitude”.
The power of these four choices lies in your ability to exercise control over you own life. I’m reminded that Wayne Dyer said we can be miserable or motivate our self. Whatever has to be done, it’s always our choice. There are really only two choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them. So, as you consider these four choices, ask yourself these questions – Why are you so shy? How is it holding you back? What choices do you need to make today to change your current condition?